1 OFFICER'S REQUEST, GRANTED

Hello, WORLD!! Smokkee, still alive and kickin. I've been saying that this blog is most personal blog. It really is though, I just don't open up easy. I'm working on that.

With that said, I was planning a few post more personal posts on here anyway, such as will I still be able to quit my day job on December 1st as I planned, why I feel comic book writer Dan Slott is the Vince Gilligan of the comic book world, etc. And this post too, which was just begging to be written. In fact I almost wrote it last Tuesday night, right after I wound up doing something real stupid. I didn't because I didn't want to seem like I was boasting or bragging about my, um, "good fortune". Then last Thursday night it happened again, lucky me. I wanted to write about it for sure now, but then the officer I was talking to requested I write it! So.....

Before I get into the details of what events led to this post, let me give you a lil gist of what I do and how that lead to this. I work from 8:30 am to 5:00 pm Monday thru Friday in the West Loop/Fulton Market area for a job that is more than a little frustrating on various levels. I do customer service for at least 40 different companies and I'm sure a lot of yall know how that goes without me going into detail. Well when the work day is done, I'm either heading to the movies for a screening or checking out some sports on 75th and Eggleston (aka Da Egg) before I head home to the family. 

Here I gotta confess that most nights when I leave I'm drunk as a skunk. Yes, I'm still trying to quit drinking and I'm not anywhere near the alcoholic I used to be but here we are. It's still what I do. 

Now when I head back to the home-front near 63rd and Western, it's late, I'm drunk, and the CTA buses are running on that slow night owl schedule. One night I sat at the bus stop damn near an hour before it realized it might not be coming.. Drunk people stuff. Anyway if I don't see one I start to walk. Yep, I know it sounds like a nice hike but I'm drunk. Only time a drunk stays still is if he's sleep. Whatever the case, a lot of nights I walk it's the entire 4.4 mile trek. Lots of interesting things happen as you'd expect. 

Now for what happened last Tuesday (this part is a lil embarrassing...).

I was heading home about sometime around 11pm - 1am. Yes, I was a little intoxicated. OK, a lot of intoxicated to tell the truth. So right on 68 and Halsted I felt nature calling. Nature calls a lot when you're drunk, like how drunk people call their exes. With no bathroom around (my drunk state didn't remind me that White Castle is about a block away), I did what most men would do: find the nearest alley. DONT JUDGE ME! Right when I was doing the finishing wiggle (again, DJM!), a blue and white cruiser pull up 3 officers deep. 

Of course, they started asking what are you doing back here, do you have anything, etc. For the most part, I was completely legal. I did have a little bit of marijuana, about 3 dime bags, like always but the officers were unconcerned with those for the most part. They took the weed out of my pockets and continued their search. After my name came back clean the gave me a ticket. Not for the marijuana; for the public urination. Then to my surprise, they gave me my weed back! After I looked at the ticket to make sure I didn't just imagine the whole incident, checked to make sure that what I had in my pocket again was in fact my weed, and looked around to see if I could spot a hidden camera somewhere (I just knew I was getting PUNK'D), I continued along my way home, a lil confused but no worse for wear. 

Then Thursday night after the PATRIOTS v JETS game, I headed home again, this time nowhere near as intoxicated as I was the Tuesday before. This time, I got all the way to 63rd around Morgan St when 2 detective cars and a blue n white squad car rolled up on me.

"Where's the gun?" the detective closest to me asked. "Gun? I don't need one. I aint got no enemies out here." I replied. "Yeah? We got a report that a man with his hood on in a black jacket got off the train and was walking around brandishing a pistol. Got anything on you?" "Nothing illegal. I got a little bit of weed in my right pocket though." "Where you just coming from?" "Oh you watched the game? Who won?" "Yeah, I just heard that on the radio." All of that was happening as one detective checked my pockets and not only found the 2 dime bags I was referring to but a couple of SWP Blog post drafts that I was gonna finish writing when I got home. I blog from my phone when I'm off work and it's much easier for me to look up what I've already wrote from a printed copy of the draft than to keep scrolling the page on my phone. "What's this?" he asked then I explained what I just explained to you guys. 

"So you're a blogger? I want you to blog this for me." the first detective said as I was presented with my marijuana back from the police for the 2nd time in 3 days!! "Tell your readers and the people that we're the good guys out here. We're not trying to make nobodies life harder. We ain't out here fucking with law abiding citizens. We're just out here doing our jobs. You don't break the law, we won't break your balls. You give us hassle, you're gonna get a hassle. Don't go spreading no stories about how we roughed you up now, you hear? Enjoy your smoke." With a laugh I told him I would do just that. Gotta keep your word; sometimes it's the only thing you have. I haven't made the walk since then though and I haven't had as much to drink since then, well,  until yesterday.

Which reminds me. Let me try to find something to eat. I'm still trying to sober up from the Monday Night Football drinking. Later, WORLD!